It has been a good night. The first I can remember in a long time. Best friend, lost friend, beer, pizza, nice bar, great staff, awesome music. After an extremely anxiety ridden and pain filled day, I couldn't have asked for anything so wonderful as the night I allowed myself to enjoy. I let myself be okay, and that is a huge deal for me. I am haunted by the unfortunate circumstances in my life but constantly forget good things. Years passed me by and I turned to realize that too much has been given away... taken... so I gave myself tonight. A gift of time and an ease I am not used to.
That's the thing about time and me. If I don't remember the moments, it's always a confusing adjustment when I look at my life and see what has changed. Not so sweet amnesia. I only ever have bad dreams. It's all in my head. Perception is warped.
So I will place this precious memory here.
I was there, I laughed, I smiled until it hurt, and I could feel again something I thought was long gone.
P.S. I've missed you.
I'm busy working on my blog posts. Watch this space!